The Virus of Self-Doubt

Like a disease it comes,
The virus of self-doubt.
Confined to one’s own mind
It’s more widespread than thought.
It can have many shades.
It will catch you off guard.
Will incubate inside you,
Leave you in a shroud of cloud.
First step is to recognize it,
That itself takes a lot.
Seeing it is half the cure,
The rot is on it’s way out.
Do not let yourself wallow in it,
Else fear will seek you out.
Remember to hold your chin up,
Self love is also self taught.
Your whole world stands by you,
Everyone wants to play a part.
Allow yourself to be loved,
Just open your beautiful heart. 💌

I wrote this a few years ago after a heavy conversation with a friend who was drowning in self-doubt. This was my way of processing it and letting it out of my system.

Little did I know that a few years later there will literally be a virus and a disease that will engulf the entire world in fear and self-doubt.

It seems relevant now more than ever as we go through cyclical emotions every new day during these testing times, collectively and individually.

On bad days, my emotions engulf me when I try to look too far ahead or try to find solutions. Future seems unclear and the present seems unreal.

We all want an alternate reality. These are natural reactions to anxiety but they are not helpful. It leaves you overwhelmed and powerless.

At such times, what helps is to write it all down, the feelings and thoughts. It feels surreal to see yourself on paper. Remedy I use to ease uncomfortable feelings:

Recognize, Acknowledge and in the end Accept.

The Serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” -Reinhold Niebuhr

One thing I can say for sure that this experience has been like walking through fire for all of us. This catastrophic disease has forced us to take a long hard look at ourselves, re-think our life choices, re-adjust our goals and regain our perspective.

We feel like radically different people emerging on the other side of it. With the realization of the fragility of life and the need to find meaning in it magnified, I look forward to that new world. Everyone a little more thoughtful, maybe even grateful, starting with me.

See you on the other side! @thethinkingcaptain